Hey moon!

Hello. You don’t have to say anything. You’re pretty good at it and I thank you for that.

Know what? I just realized again something. I’ve been holding on to something I shouldn’t be holding on to if the feeling it brings is this. Isn’t this again a déjà vu? And with a fleeting life I live now, such feeling should too. They are ALL transients after all. Transients that I shouldn’t be depressing about or lay feelings to. Well, it’s my fault anyway. Me and Josh’s weakness is what brought me here. So yea, I should just go on with it, right? Nothing happened. Smile, as always. Be creepy. Be good at what you do. Be not yourself. Hide it. YES. EFFIN RIGHT. You’ll probably say I don’t need this now and I don’t need this ever and yes, I will believe you. We’ve been dealing with this like forever and it never gets easier. Please tell me to stop now. Please stop me from living in the less clever world. Please stop me from making myself hope. Please tell me no more. I so want this over or starting already. So much realization, still stuck in realization. I need an anchor. Do I got you? Are you saving me? Don’t let me go.

You could have said something though to make me feel better. I hate you.

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~ by protagonist on April 3, 2014.

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