i’ll start to incinerate you.

Do you really know me? Do you know what lies inside? Do you know what goes through my head?! I guess not… Because you just go along everyday not even knowing how hurt i am. You don’t know how much pain I’ve kept inside. You don’t know how much anger is held in my chest. You don’t know how hard it is for ME to go along everyday as if these things are just nothing. NO… You won’t care.. And if you would, you won’t even notice… YOU DON’T KNOW ME… You’ll NEVER know me…

You think i’m happy. You think i’m feeling alright. Well, I dare you to think TWICE… Because this hunk you see is so broken inside. The smiles you see are tears of pain i’ve been bearing just so no one will see how hard i’m struggling to live.. And yet you torment me with your razor sharp words that cuts through my flesh and blood flowing freely not wanting to stop.. You torture me with your words that stabs me right through my temple and leaving a scar that will NEVER heal no matter how long time goes by… I kept this pain, anger, loathe, grudge, frustrations and fears inside me. I nortured them for months that it made my body and soul numb… I kept them bottled up that they threaten to turn me into someone I don’t want to be.. i don’t want to be that person… i fear him. OH NO… These tears are threatening to spill out. But still, i don’t want to cry. Crying are for weak people… and i don’t want to be weak..

i’m screaming right at you… But you can’t hear me. i’m all alone. This voice is supressed. My cries are supressed. And i fall into the dark abyss of no return. These emotions turns my entire world into a complete nightmare that I cannot run away from… And my only escape is death… And as i take the instrument of death in my hands, i slit my wrists and let the blood freely flow from my wounds. I lay on the floor and smile as i see white streaks of light willing to take me away from this unbearable life… My body becomes numb… And i feel no more pain, anger, loathe, frustrations, grudge and fears…

tnx jc… kakatrauma ha! hihi…


~ by protagonist on August 16, 2006.

One Response to “i’ll start to incinerate you.”

  1. hey… I don’t agree… crying is not for weak people!

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